If I really think,
I can scarcely remember,
a time when you and I,
would play together.
Now,
when I really think,
all I remember is,
your house,
which was once a special place.
Now,
I don't even remember your face.
You always said I was "Daddy's Little Girl".
But what does that mean?
I'm not a girl anymore.
But what does that mean?
I'm not little anymore.
But what does that mean?
You're not my daddy anymore.
Never really were.
You sometimes said I was "Daddy's Little Girl".
What is that supposed to mean?
I'm not a girl anymore.
What is that supposed to mean?
I'm not little anymore.
What is that supposed to mean?
I'm not yours anymore.
All those things you told me,
were just more of your lies,
that I deplore.
You never said I was "Daddy's Little Girl".
You expected me to know the world,
when I was only a little girl.
You knew I was weak,
when I was only a little girl.
You should have been a father,
when I was only a little girl.
I needed someone to guide me,
teach me,
show me right from wrong.
All you seemed to care about,
was that woman,
and your job.
As the years passed by,
so did my love for you.
I am now nearly an adult,
and I don't even know you.
When you told me you never wanted to speak again,
and that you don't care for my tears,
you threw away that love,
that grew over the years.
But I have not been knocked down.
I have only grown,
into much more,
than the little girl you used to know.
I know the world is full of obstacles,
and I know how to see them.
I know that anything I wish for is in my reach,
as long as I can dream it.
This was something I taught myself,
from years of pain,
and at this point in my life,
I don't care if I never see you again.
When I was eight, you may have been my whole world.
But now as a growing woman, I know I am not a child anymore.
You can take your false sentiments,
and throw them to the damn floor,
because I now am not,
and never really was,
Daddy's Little Girl.
#ThePoetryofDA
#Writers4Life
#TheScribblists
#TheWritingObsession
#My-Soul-Bleeds-Ink
#FightToWrite
#Written-Imagination
#Love-Literature
It's written from the heart. Were you inspired by personal experience? I hope not.
`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More
Sta.sh
You're welcome. I should be thanking you, this is really inspirational.
This'll be my second time critiquing on one of your works, I hope I can do it justice.
Vision: In terms of actual vision, this poem is longer than your usual pieces, so I like how that fact is able to give the reader more time to "paint" a picture of who you may be referring to. Versus having to maybe read over the piece several times before the feeling you're attempting to get across is actually perceived.
Originality: Of course, I only give four stars because this is a reoccurring theme in some places of the music industry, but..! I firmly believe there is something unique about your piece, and that it deserves to be read by more writers; as with many of your other works.
Technique: You already know from my last critique that I am a fan of your style of writing. The short, meaningful phrases give off the feeling you're trying to portray without getting it drenched in the easily convoluted tendencies of the English language. The occasional rhymes help give it a nice rhythm, without going overboard like something by Dr. Suess.
Impact: I will speak honestly when I say this practically blew me away. (Hah, now you have me rhyming too.) Especially the last four to six stanzas, which really "took the cake" for me. I am amazed of the amount of depth you are able to get across in such short pieces.
Fantastic job, again! There are little errors here and there, when applying the rules of literature and technical prose, but they are so little that only a keenly-trained eye could find them.
Keep up the good work! I look forward to seeing more.
The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork
Please sign up or login to post a critique.